| Before the Setting Sun |
[03 Nov 2005|07:40pm] |
Before the Setting Sun
In my deepest times I ponder
what you are that fills my mind
with colors of red and grey,
like love and pain,
mixed together in the great bliss
that many call life and blinding
my vision with a shroud of
broken promises and unspoken
desires.
Only in my broken self-
loathing can I find the courage
to speak out of my heart and
not my mind. And even then
I stumble upon the blocks that
you have placed here, guardians
of one purpose known to both of
us, but mutually known to neither,
because we can know ourselves,
and ourselves,
only.
So I regress and ask myself again:
are you woman or beast, or fairy, or
nymph, or some other godlike being
sent to torture me? I assume you are
all. You are all in my mind, you are all-
consuming and all that I have... And yet
I have nothing.
If I had the great mythologies of my fathers
I could play you off as some monster that
I have no real love for, only the lust of a dog
that cares for its master according only
to what great feast that he might
bring.
I lie. I see you for what you are now. You
draw away like the spectrum of colors I
chased across the fields as a child.
Never above me, never within my grasp.
You, damned woman, wish to be my Siren.
I hear your beautiful melody, but when I
exit the boat all that awaits me is the grave
of all other men that have seen your rocky
shores. The waves throw me against the
stones and you look on, as if you had no
part in my torture. Only in my last breath
will I see the scales that produced the
amazing shine I saw from safety before
death.
::::::
So I look to the sun
For it is what gives that beauty.
And in that beauty I still see your face.
Another goal to attain.
So I seek Daedalus
And he gives me hope.
And as the wax runs down my back
I care not.
For what else is there to seek
If I cannot have the sun?
And I fall...
::::::
And as I fall... I wonder...
Was it too much to ask?
Have my eyes hazed over
with a green tint that I swore
in my childhood that I would
never possess?
But what else should I
live for? Even if I sought
only a reflection of you,
cruel irony would have
turned me to lycanthropy.
Or do I already carry it?
A wolf has only lust.
Am I wolf or man?
The lines blur.
My lust for life is hidden.
My lust for death is nigh.
I have lust for the forbidden,
all that catches my eye.
-Matthew Richards, 11/3/05
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[06 May 2005|05:00pm] |
|
I've made a big decision today. You'll all hear about it sooner or later.
|
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| 4AM |
[03 May 2005|07:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Our Lady Peace - 4AM |
] |
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/4AM.mp3
I walked around my good intentions
And found that there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years
We hardly talked
I never thought I would forget this hate
Then a phone call made me realize I'm wrong
And If I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignore because
We're all dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
I walked around my room
Not thinking
Just sinking in this box
I blame myself for being too much
Like somebody else
I never thought I would just
Bend this way
Then a phone call made me realize I'm wrong
And If I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignore because
We're all dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
And I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
Hope to God I figure out
I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
If I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignore because
We're all dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
And If I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignore because
We're all dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out
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| Wow |
[02 May 2005|05:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Enlightened |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Silence |
] |
"Schopenhauer suggests that just as your dreams are composed by an aspect of yourself of which you consciousness is unaware, so, too, your whole life is composed by the will within you. And just as people whom you will have met apparently by mere chance became leading agents in the structuring of your life, so, too, will you have served unknowingly as an agent, giving meaning to the lives of others. The whole thing gears together like one big symphony, with everything unconsciously structuring everything else. And Shchopenhauer concludes that it is as though our lives were the features of the one great dream of a single dreamer in which alll of the dream characters dream, too; so that everything links to everything else, moved by the one will to life which is the universal will in nature."
-Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
Maybe I'm crazy, but that spoke to me...
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| Stay and Drown |
[02 May 2005|07:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Finger Eleven - Stay and Drown |
] |
Someone should know that I'm thinking of them...
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/StayandDrown.mp3
Good God have I been dreaming?
This paralyzing feeling?
Was I left alone? Where have you gone?
Were you somewhere else just sleeping?
If I wait to wake you
I'll never ask you
Would you take my hand?
In the deepest end
Would you stay and drown in me?
My open eyes see everything
Passing all the days
through a window pane
And as the scene would change
I'd stay the same
This paradise was nothing new
But the paradise gets tired of you
A single conversation
Stole my attention
If I wait to wake you
I'll never ask you
Would you take my hand?
In the deepest end
Would you stay and drown in me?
My open eyes see everything
My open eyes see everything
And you see nothing
And don't forget it
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| The Red |
[27 Apr 2005|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Chevelle - The Red |
] |
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/TheRed.mp3
They say freak,
When you're singled out,
The red, well it filters through.
So lay down, the threat is real,
When his sight goes red again.
Seeing red again,
Seeing red again.
This change, he won't contain,
Slip away, to clear your mind.
When asked, who made it show,
The truth, he gives in to most.
So lay down, the threat is real,
When his sight goes red again.
So lay down, the threat is real,
When his sight goes red again.
So lay down, the threat is real,
When his sight goes red again.
Seeing red again,
Seeing red again,
Seeing red again,
Seeing red again,
Seeing red again,
Seeing red again,
Seeing red again,
Seeing red....
They say freak...
When you're singled out.
The red, it filters through...
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| Hellz yeah |
[26 Apr 2005|03:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
SOAD - BOYB (so fkin awesome, cant listen to anythin else) |
] |
Matt's LJ is the place to be, bitchez!
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| BYOB |
[25 Apr 2005|11:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
System of a Down - BYOB (Bring Your Own Bombs) |
] |
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/Byob.mp3
Why do they always send the poor?
My God is of Bible blood with pointed ears
Victorious, victorious steel
Can your spending kneel?
Marching forward hypocritic
And hypnotic computers
You depend on our protection
Yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth
La la la la la la la la la la
Everybody is going to the party
Have a real good time
Dancing in the desert
Blowing up the sunshine
Kneeling roses
Disappearing into Moses' dry mouth
Breaking into Fort Knox
Stealing our intentions
Every city, gripped in oil
Crying freedom!
Handed to obsoletion
Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth
la la la la la la la la la la
Everybody is going to the party
Have a real good time
Dancing in the desert
Blowing up the sunshine
Everybody is going to the party
Have a real good time
Dancing in the desert
Blowing up the sunshine
Blast off, it's party time
And we all live in a fascist nation
Blast off, it's party time
And where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Kneeling roses
Disappearing into Moses' dry mouth
Breaking into Fort Knox
Stealing our intentions
Every city, gripped in oil
Crying freedom!
Handed to a absolution
Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth
la la la la la la la la la la
Everybody is going to the party
Have a real good time
Dancing in the desert
Blowing up the sunshine
Everybody is going to the party
Have a real good time
Dancing in the desert
Blowing up the sun
Where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
They always send the poor!
They always send the poor!
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| Cigaro |
[25 Apr 2005|05:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
System of a Down - Cigaro |
] |
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/Cigaro.mp3
My cock is much bigger than yours,
My cock can walk right through the door
With a feeling so pure..
It's got you screaming for more.
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
My shit stinks much better than yours,
My shit stinks right down through the floor.
With a feeling so pure,
It's got you coming back for more.
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
Can't you see that I love my cock?
Can't you see that you love my cock?
Can't you see that we love my cock?
We're the regulators that de-regulate
We're the animators that de-animate
We're the propagators of all genocide
Burning through the world's resources, then we turn and hide
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
We're the regulators that de-regulate
We're the animators that de-animate
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO
My cock is much bigger than yours,
My cock can walk right through the door
With a feeling so pure..
It's got you screaming back for more!
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| Poem |
[25 Apr 2005|10:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Taproot - Poem |
] |
NOTE!... In case anyone is actually reading these and wants these songs, I'm going to start uploading the songs that I write the lyrics out for. They'll only be up until I have to take them down for room (maybe a week max), so update your music collection while ya can =)
oh yeah, and as for backtracking, here is the song for the last posts, Broken Words by Finger Eleven, Smothered by Spineshank, and What It's Like by Everlast
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/BrokenWords.mp3
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/Smothered.mp3
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/WhatItsLike.mp3
http://bama.ua.edu/~richa109/Poem.mp3
overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins
in an hour i'll be ok
i pray this pain will go away permanently someday
I'VE seen more than...
I should have to...
I'VE seen this on my own
this song is a,
poem to myself,
it helps me to live...
in case of fire,
BREAK the glass,
and move on into your own...
reoccurring drowning effect entrenching my brain,
i hope you'll be ok someday,
so i can say that you moved on in the right way...
WE'VE seen this and
WE'VE breathed this and
WE'VE lived this on our own...
this song is a,
poem to myself,
it helps me to live...
in case of fire,
BREAK the glass,
and move on into your own...
your own...
BREAK...
this song is a,
poem to myself,
it helps me to live...
in case of fire,
BREAK the glass,
and move on into your own...
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| Broken Words |
[22 Apr 2005|02:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Finger Eleven - Broken Words |
] |
Your sweet little hands
Brush right past me
Sometimes you don't understand
Why you can't reach
I bite when I don't want to bend
How silent I can be
So she is silent too
She's the one who saw my words
Broken, Torn at the seams
And broken words were all she heard
Now she's walking away from me
Some never meant
And some meant well
The difference between us is so
Hard to tell
I was so shaken but now
All I see
Is everything she meant to me
She's the one who saw my words
Broken, Torn at the seams
And broken words were all she heard
Now she's walking away from me
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| Mash rocks my face off |
[19 Apr 2005|09:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Three Days Grace - Just Like You |
] |
You will live in Apartment.
You will drive a Black Jeep.
You will marry Liz 2 and have 1 kids.
You will be a Famous Director in Las Angeles.
www.playmash.com
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| Smothered |
[17 Apr 2005|12:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 envious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Spineshank - Smothered |
] |
The black and cold reminds me
Of all the distance we have crossed
And if your darkness blinds me
I could never be more lost
But I'm not the one who seeks your protection
I'm not the one to share the disguise
And I'm not the one who reeks of rejection
I'm not the one to tear the same way twice
You push from the inside - smothered
You push from the inside out - smothered
Have all your walls surround me
They're closing in they block my sight
The violence around me
Found me when I could not fight
But I'm not the one to take your direction
I'm not the one who wears the disguise
And I'm not the one to share your reflection
I'm not the one you break the same way twice
You push from the inside - smothered
You push from the inside out - smothered
I will never win
I will never win with you
I read you
I fear you round up no more than you know
I hate you
I still do everytime you let me go
You push from the inside - smothered
You push from the inside out - smothered
Smothered... I'm so smothered
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| If i were... |
[12 Apr 2005|07:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nonpoint - Endure |
] |
if you were a ... what would you be? *
If i were a month I would be: December
If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday
If I were a time of day I would be: 3 AM
If I were a planet I would be: Pluto
If I were a sea animal I would be: An anemone
If I were a direction I would be: West
If I were a sin I would be: Coveting
If I were a liquid I would be: alcohol
If I were a stone, I would be: onyx
If I were a tree, I would be: birch
If I were a bird, I would be: a raven
If I were a weapon, I would be: a katana
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: cherry blossom
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: calm before a storm
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: cerberus
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: bass
If I were an animal, I would be: snake
If I were a color, I would be: dark red
If I were a feeling, I would be: anger
If I were a vegetable, I would be: tomato
If I were a sound, I would be: laughter
If I were an element, I would be: oxygen
If I were a song, I would be: Virgo's Merlot - Kiss My Disease
If I were a book, I would be written by: myself
If I were a place, I would be: center of the earth
If I were a material, I would be: denim
If I were a scent, I would be: familiar
If I were a religion, I would be: non-existant
If I were a word, I would be: hopeless
If I were an object, I would be: a candle
If I were a facial expression I would be: angry
If I were a subject in school I would be: sex ed
If I were a cartoon character I would be: pepe' le pu (sp? wtfever)
If I were a shape I would be: triangle
If I were a number I would be: 13
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|
| Goddammit |
[10 Apr 2005|04:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 enraged |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
System of a Down - Deer Dance |
] |
Matt gets a new car... 6 months later a fuckin deer goes kamikaze and decides to fuck it all up.
Thanks, wildlife... I love you too.
Actually, Mr. Deer... I hope you died. You run from your safe little woods into the front of my car with me going 70... You deserve it. I hope it was painful.
Goddammit... I now hate nature. I wanna eat some deer. I've never eaten deer, but it sounds really good right now. I should take up hunting.
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| What it's like |
[09 Apr 2005|12:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sympathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Everlast - What it's like |
] |
We’ve all seen a man at the liquor store beggin’ for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange
He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes
"Get a job you fucking slob," is all he replies
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
’cause then you really might know what it’s like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it’s like...
Then you really might know what it’s like...
Then you really might know what it’s like...
Then you really might know what it’s like...
To have the blues
Mary got pregnant from a kid named tom that said he was in love
He said, "don’t worry about a thing, baby doll
I’m the man you’ve been dreaming of."
But 3 months later he say he won’t date her or return her calls
And she swear, "God damn, if I find that man I’m cuttin’ off his balls."
And then she heads for the clinic and
She gets some static walking through the door
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner
And they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
’cause then you really might know what it’s like to have to choose
Then you really might know what it’s like...
Then you really might know what it’s like...
Then you really might know what it’s like...
Then you really might know what it’s like...
To have to choose
I’ve seen a rich man beg
I’ve seen a good man sin
I’ve seen a tough man cry
I’ve seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I’ve seen the good side of bad
And the downside of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
And smoked the finest green
I stroked the daddies' dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start
I knew this kid named Max
He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late
He liked to get shit-faced and keep the pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight and max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45, talked some shit, and wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain
You know it crumbles that way
At least that’s what they say when you play the game
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
’cause then you really might know what it’s like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it’s like...
Then you really might know what it’s like...
Then you really might know what it’s like...to have to lose
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| So yeah... |
[02 Apr 2005|01:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed off |
] |
Mitch died Tuesday. Man, that sucks. There are a lot of people that could've died without me giving a shit, but it had to be Mitch. Here's to the modern king of one-liners.
"I haven't slept for days, because that would be too long."
"I played golf....I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy... and that's way more satisfying. Your supposed to yell 'FORE', but I was too busy mumbling 'ain't no way that's gonna hit him.'"
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good a a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless."
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
"I got into and argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out and slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up real quick?"
"I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As if there were a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flamable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit."
"Alcoholism, is a disease, but it's the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. 'Dammit Otto, you're an alcoholic.', 'Dammit Otto, you have Lupis.' One of those two doesn't sound right."
"I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said 'Sorry, we're closed.' You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a.m. and your a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, 'hey I was here at 3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.'"
"I brought a donut and the guy gave me a recieipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut, I give you the money, you give me the donut, end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I can not imagine the senerio where I would have to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend. 'Don't even act like I didn't get that donut. I got the documentation right here.'"
"When you go a resturant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list. They say 'Dufrane, party of two, table ready for Dufrane, party of two' , and if no one answers they'll say the name again, Dufrane, party of two'. But then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. 'Bush party of three'. Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths AND they're hungry. That's a double whammy! We need help! 'Bush, search party of three. You can eat once you find the Dufranes.'"
|
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| .45 |
[02 Apr 2005|01:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
rejected |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Shinedown - .45 |
] |
Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
|
|
| Kiss My Disease |
[31 Mar 2005|11:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Virgos Merlot - Kiss My Disease |
] |
Praying hands grasp a throat
Searching for a song they wrote
Heat that just won't warn a frozen spirit
Just a man with a cause
No reward and no applause
If there was a call he did not hear it
Tiny heroes fighting big battles
Mind of stone breaks and rattles
The only thing I need, kiss my disease
And make it all better
Clean me when I bleed, justify me
Make words of my scattered letters
Hunger pains take control
Growling at the tired soul
Withered body just won't meet the demands
Growing older, growing weak
Going nowhere, future's bleak
Need another spark to fire up the plan
Tiny heroes fighting big battles
Mind of stone overcomes the rattles
The only thing I need, kiss my disease
And make it all better
Clean me when I bleed, justify me
Make words of my scattered letters
Won't you kiss my disease
Won't you kiss my disease
Won't you kiss my disease
|
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] |
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